Dec 9, 2015

AFC North teams as Presidential candidates





This is probably already a story on deadspin. Let's get the easy one out of the way first:

CLEVELAND BROWNS = Bernie Sanders. All my friends from Ohio seem to love him and he's got precisely 0.0% chance of winning the big one

STEELERS = Jeb Bush. The rational side of you is not sure that the talent matches the name brand, but if you squint hard enough, you can definitely talk yourself into victory. questions on defense

BALTIMORE RAVENS = Ted Cruz. Just hideous. Probably responsible for a few murders/despicable acts. Nobody wants to see them win

CINCINNATI BENGALS = The Donald, obviously. The numbers say they are a legit contender but literally EVERYONE with even cursory knowledge of the game knows they are going down in the first round

Bonus:

NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS = Hillary Clinton; because they are most likely bending the rules right now as we speak


#wedey

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